


Shiver

by bornsinner



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Doubt, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Long-Term Relationship(s), One Shot Collection, One-Sided Attraction, Realistic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:23:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4380629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornsinner/pseuds/bornsinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa is in a long-term, committed relationship with Eren, and to others, they have a perfect relationship. Mikasa starts to doubt whether Eren is who she truly wants when she slowly becomes attracted to Levi. Although her and Eren have a steady, stable relationship, the connection with her and Levi becomes harder and harder to ignore.</p><p>A couple of simple one shots. This is just my depiction of how their relationship would be like in a modern setting. Eventually leads up to a small story. Mainly focused on RivaMika.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Middle of the Bed

It had been like this for a long time.

Their night had started off slow; they were both caught up at work earlier, so it had taken them a bit of time to see each other. When they were finally at his place, they had ordered Chinese so neither of them had to cook, then they had settled on a television show they both didn't really care about to mindlessly spend the time. Mikasa was curled up in his bed, checking the messages on her phone, which were mostly from Armin, setting up plans for Krista's surprise birthday party- when she had felt Eren's hands slide over her flat stomach and settle on the slight curve of her hips, pulling her to the left side of the bed. She saw the hungry look in his eyes, and knew exactly what he was thinking. Her breath had hitched a little when he started to kiss her, and she had exhaled shakily when he slowly moved the clothes off her body. After a while, Mikasa found herself in Eren's arms, moving her hips up and down as she rode him, feeling him stretch her as she came down harder and harder on his erection. 

She could hear Eren drawing harsh breaths as he pulled out, flipped her over so that he was on top, then he moved inside of her, pulsing in, then out again. He nudged her face with his nose so he could kiss her, and she returned it, feeling the greedy need of his kiss through the way he moved his lips. Mikasa opened her eyes to see sweat beads on Eren's neck, the look of his face as he slowly struggled to thrust faster. Sensing that he was beginning to get tired holding himself up after a while, Mikasa gripped his shoulders, pushing him away. Slightly confused, Eren pulled out, his eyes filled with disappointment. They quickly lit up when Mikasa slowly slipped over on all fours and reached for his cock to guide into her from behind. She knew this was his favourite position. Placing his hands on her hips, Eren moaned in appreciation as he felt Mikasa stretch open for him and fuck, did it feel good when he felt her round ass smack against him while he was buried deep inside of her. He could feel the tension building up, even then, as he tentatively thrust into her, his pace picking up until he was fully ramming into her, hearing her panting and watching her as she gripped the headboard for support, her head thrown back, crying out as he reached forward and pulled on her hair. Seeing her like that, the arch of her back, her submissive form, and the way her ass danced wantonly as he fucked her...

"Oh fuck, Mikasa, I'm coming-"  
Their rhythm instantly sped up as Eren quickly found his release, feeling the brutally exquisite rush as his cum spilled into her. He exhaled sharply, letting out a groan as he gradually slowed down, bringing her hips towards him with less and less force until he finally slid out of her and crashed next to her on the bed.

It had been like this for a long time.

Mikasa felt exhausted. She let herself plop on her stomach, then rolled around to lay on her side to face Eren, who looked spent and sweaty. She could feel the sticky wetness of his semen between her legs, inside her pussy which was still coiled with need. 

He hadn't made her come again. Every night was the same since their first; their kisses would deepen, and clothes would start to come off of their bodies, and even though Mikasa loved him, loved the way they explored each other's bodies, and loved having sex with him, he could never satisfy her. The beginning was always wonderful, she was always wet and filled with lust when she felt the hunger in his lips. It was his touch that was much too greedy. His hands would grope, but never caress her breasts, and his fingers were too eager as they pushed around her clit and pushed into her pussy with clumsy, fast movements. Mikasa wanted him to be gentler, more teasing, send her flying; even though she had tried to coax him to slow down, to build her up, she never experienced an orgasm with him in the way that she knew she could have, all too knowingly, on those nights she experienced in her own bed, with herself alone. 

At the beginning of their relationship, she had been too afraid of bringing his ego down, and she had gotten into the terrible habit of faking her way through their nights. Eren was too rough with his fingers, fixated on making her come, but he had started to make it hurt, and her own lubrication started to fade away. When she made him stop, Eren shut down, curled away from her, and beat himself up, saying that he wasn't good enough for her. 

And Mikasa hated that. Hated the way he wouldn't look at her, disappointed that he had eagerly came when his dick was in her hands or her soft, warm mouth, but he couldn't make her feel the way she made him feel. 

And so she had lied, lied with her body and through her words. Every cry of his name and the way her body shook during sex was a lie, and Mikasa felt the burn in her conscience every time. But she loved him so much, and couldn't bear to see him upset, and so she sacrificed this one thing. And to her, it meant so little. She felt more gratification in bringing him pleasure, and she knew she shouldn't have lied to Eren, but it had been too long. Too long to speak up now. If she confided that she had been faking for over two years... She didn't know how Eren would react.

So when Eren showered her with kisses, murmured, "I love you, Mikasa" and cradled her in his arms to sleep, the only words she let through were "I love you too" and she fell asleep, asleep in the arms of the man she fiercely loved the most, protecting him from the truth.


	2. Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little peak at Levi and Mikasa's relationship. This one is a little long, but I felt the need to have a lot of details.

The big city was bustling with life that morning. People hurried to catch the subway on their way to work, cab drivers were furiously honking at each other, and teenagers were swerving in and out of the busy traffic of pedestrians on the sidewalks on their dingy, banged up skateboards. Mikasa had met Hanji, Levi, and Erwin at the lobby of their hotel, bright and early, to head to the convention together. Hanji and Erwin were currently going over their whole presentation in hushed, but serious voices. Levi was casually walking beside Mikasa, hands in his pockets, looking positively bored with the whole situation. His eyes were especially heavy-lidded and darker than usual; Mikasa knew he didn't sleep at all last night. She could usually tell how he was feeling. They had known each other for quite some time, after all.

When Mikasa first got the job as Levi's assistant, her co-workers told her how moody and demanding he'd be. At first, they were correct. Every day at work, she'd be frustrated by his harsh demeanor, his obsessive need for everything to be at his exact standards of cleanliness and organization, and the mountainous stacks of paperwork he sent through that needed her attention. Levi was insane; but Mikasa knew he was brilliant at his job and she had gotten a chance to work with one of the most famously known names in the industry. So for four years, she learned how to work with him. She followed his exact orders, but challenged him with her own ideas, debating through every detail of their latest project, giving him a view from her own perspective. Levi was cutting at first, telling her that she was just an assistant and that she should put her foot, not her ideas, in her mouth. But she was intelligent and he slowly became more open to her strategies and tactics on how they could present their ideas to the board. Mikasa found a rush in every debate and every project they had together, and Levi was begrudgingly surprised that he finally had an assistant he could work with. So over the years, they built a relationship of trust and dynamic teamwork, and Mikasa became accustomed to Levi and his quirks. And today, he was sleep-deprived and grumpy about having to speak at a convention.

"I don't understand why they need to discuss the presentation for the hundredth time since we got here." Levi murmured bitterly, and Mikasa wasn't sure if it was meant for her to hear or if it was more just a statement to himself. He looked older, she noted. Probably from the lack of sleep. He was dressed in dark hues as well, so that probably added to his depressing, aged look. Even so, Mikasa couldn't help but think Levi was slightly attractive, even handsome with his light blue-grey eyes and strong features. When she realized he noticed her looking at him, she hastily looked away to the pair in front of them, whom had gradually increased the level of excitement of their conversation, as Hanji was chatting enthusiastically with her arms waving about in the air.  
"They just want this to go well." Mikasa murmured back, then she sneaked another glance at Levi. "Plus, have you known Hanji to stop talking?"  
He smirked a little at that, and Mikasa couldn't help but feel the small rush of pride she felt whenever she was able to put Levi in a better mood. They walked in silence after that, making their way through the busy, vibrant street. Mikasa clutched her red scarf closer to her, and absent mindedly hugged her one arm close to herself. She inwardly scolded herself for not packing warmer. As nice as the weather was back home, as soon as she arrived in the city, the air turned chilly and the wind picked up its pace. Her slender legs felt exposed in her thin tights, and her black pencil skirt felt too short as the cold nipped at the skin on her thighs. The worst part was the sheer white blouse she'd chosen to wear to the convention; although pretty, it did absolutely nothing against the wind.

"There's a coffee place I know down this street, let's stop and grab breakfast." Erwin called out to the group, and the four made their way to the tiny, but busy coffee shop. Mikasa was the last to order, and was thankful when she felt the warmth of the apple cider in her cup radiate in her partly frozen hands. She looked over at her group, who had already gotten their orders and were quietly chatting amongst themselves at a small table. Mikasa tapped her foot a little impatiently. The woman that had taken her order had burned her bagel in the toaster, twice. She felt the eyes of Hanji, Erwin, and Levi on her periodically, wondering when she'd be done. Just as she was about to give up on breakfast, the coffee shop lady hurriedly tossed Mikasa her bagel, wrapped in some napkins, profusely apologizing for the delay. Mikasa shook her head, smiling slightly to assure the older lady no great harm was done. As soon as she turned around, her co-workers rose up from their seats, and headed out the door.

As soon as they were outside, Mikasa gave an involuntary shiver. The only thing keeping her warm was her cider and the slightly warm bagel, so she sipped her scalding cup quietly to help warm her up.  
"Here."  
She felt something smooth against her arm, and saw that Levi was holding up his dark grey suit jacket. "It's okay, take it." he said gruffly, noticing her hesitation. "It's not much Ackerman, but don't expect me to deal with you if you catch pneumonia this week." Mikasa stilled for a moment, then slowly reached for the jacket. Levi took her bagel and cup of cider, then watched as she slid the jacket on herself. It smelled like him, clean and familiar, and she welcomed the bit of warmth it still had from being on his body. As she took her things back, Mikasa shyly gave a small "Thank you, Levi", and continued to walk, looking at the ground. She vaguely thought she heard him reply "You're welcome", while she was already too wrapped in her own thoughts. As they continued walking, she smiled at a distant memory that bloomed from her past, and everything else around her blurred into a dull frenzy of colour and motion.

_It was during the first few months that she had started working for Levi. They had lost one of their most important partnerships in their company that afternoon. The office erupted into chaos after Hanji had burst in with her eyes wide with shock, and as the employees fell silent to the sudden intrusion, whispered in utter disbelief, "Garrison Ltd. is gone". Mikasa remembered how her spine had frozen with the news. Then she remembered slowly turning her head to face Levi, whose jaws looked so tense and rigidly shut she had thought they would never open again._

_That night, around 11pm, Mikasa had got up from her desk to stretch, her eyes relieved from staring at her desktop screen for so long. She glanced over at Levi; brows furrowed, blue eyes narrowed, and still hunched over his laptop. They were alone. Everyone else had left around 7pm, agitated and soulless from the day's catastrophe. She had planned to have a date with Eren after work, but she had noticed how Levi wouldn't even budge from his chair, even after Erwin had urged him to go home and get some rest. Levi had wordlessly shook his head, then returned to his work. He was absolutely ruthless. Mikasa knew he would end up staying all night by himself. Something about that bothered her. So she had called Eren to cancel plans, made a fresh pot of coffee, walked into Levi's office, and smoothly handed him a steaming cup without a word. Levi had glanced up, confused- then he looked away, reaching for the cup, he had given her a little nod. They had worked silently since then, both focusing on their task of fixing the gaping hole of their lost partnership. Time had gone by excruciatingly as they sifted through thousands upon thousands of paperwork, reports, and e-mails._

_It was around midnight when Mikasa saw the letters and numbers of her reports swim in front of her eyes. She knew she couldn't continue. Exhausted and in desperate need for a distraction, her thoughts had wandered to Eren and how she regretted cancelling on him. Why hadn't she left to have a relaxing night with dinner and wine?_

_Wait; wine._

_"_ _What are you doing?" he had asked, breaking their hours of silence for curiosity got the better of him. Mikasa had gotten up to the bar fridge in the corner of their office, pulled out a sleek bottle, and had begun to pour its contents down her throat. She stopped, then made a point of raising her thin eyebrows at him while she pointedly tipped the wine in her hands. "I was supposed to be on a date today so I bought this wine. Right now, I'm unwinding from being cooped up here with you all day." she replied jokingly. Levi had narrowed his eyes at that, snorting lightly. "Brat." he called out, eyes latching back onto his paperwork._

_"Why, did you want some?"_

_He had stilled for a moment, then Mikasa thought she saw a sliver of a smile come across his lips. Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, or perhaps she needed some sleep. "I see you're finally learning how to be a half-decent assistant." he retorted as he reached out for the bottle. At the time, Mikasa had felt a tiny stab at her pride, and she pulled her arm back, refusing to hand the booze over. "That was rude." she turned her gaze away from him firmly, choosing not to look at him as she tipped the bottle to her lips again, feeling the alcohol hit her bitterly. After a couple of strenuous minutes, Levi had returned to typing in his laptop, the sound of clicking filling the air with awkward tension. When Mikasa straightened up to walk haughtily back to her desk, Levi broke the silence again, stopping her heels._

_"_ _You're not a bad assistant." he sighed, exasperated, and she had swivelled around to meet his gaze. "The best one I've had, actually." Her eyes widened and her pulse quickened from being so caught off guard. Levi hardly gave out compliments. "Oh- um, th-thank you." she had stuttered after a while, in her surprise. They made eye contact for a split second before he turned away, back to his work._

_"Now pass the wine, brat."_

Snapping back to the present, Mikasa found herself standing at the back of a crowded room, where the convention had started and she was watching Levi lecture the crowd halfway through their presentation. She instantly scolded herself inwardly for not paying attention; surely Hanji would want to talk about it later. Bringing her hand to push a few strands of hair away from her face, Mikasa willed herself to focus on the presentation when she noticed she still had Levi's jacket on, snug around her shoulders, keeping her warm. She smiled briefly, then absent mindedly brushed her cheek gently on the collar of his jacket. Memories of paper and wine surfaced while the image of grey-blue eyes appeared behind her closed eyelids.

And for the first time that day, she felt a shiver, but not because of the cold.


	3. Eye of the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa struggles with her attraction to Levi, as it slowly grows and takes root. This chapter is pretty explicit. A long wait for this one, and I do apologize. Thank you for reading.

Somehow, while she was tossing and turning in her light grey sheets, Mikasa had fallen asleep for the night. She was up much too late; she had involuntarily collapsed on her couch earlier and had taken a two hour nap after work, which was problematic since she needed to get up early to help Sasha move to her new place. She had tried drinking tea and she had tried reading a lengthy book to try to help her sleep, but her eyes would only shut and not dream. Mikasa had finally given up after 3am and resolved to just lie there in her bed, leaving her alone with just her thoughts for company.

She had wondered what Eren was doing. He was quite a night owl, and he would have definitely taken advantage of the weekend to stay up and probably play his video games with Armin or Jean, even though all three of them were supposed to be at Sasha’s by 8:30am, and Sasha lived almost an hour away. Mikasa didn’t quite understand Eren’s obsession with video games; although they were fun and they had played together multiple times while hanging out, Mikasa never knew someone who had a full time job that played as much video games as Eren did.

Flipping over to her side, Mikasa had stared at the clock on her wall, watching the tiny, slim staff making its way around the numbers, making a tiny ticking noise as it did so. Every position she tried to be in was uncomfortable. Sighing, she had turned this way and that, trying to tire herself out of her waking state so she could get some rest. Finally, after some time, she did. Her restless eyes slowly began to close, her long, straight lashes gently touching the bottom of her eyelids. The dark, purplish spots that danced between her eyes and her eyelids slowly dulled her as sleep finally seeped into her. She was falling, slowly but surely, as if she was in an ocean of molasses, but she wasn’t drowning. Mikasa welcomed the sleep, sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness. It was like stepping into the embrace of a loved one.

Hours passed. Or maybe it was mere minutes. Mikasa suddenly realizes that she is facing a window. Dim, yellow lights fly by her eyes, leaving her captivated for only a split second. She realizes that there is a humming of some sort, and she whirls her head around to look at her surroundings. _I’m in a bus_ , she thinks to herself. _The Greyhound bus_. Mikasa is unaware of where she is going, but she is no stranger to these worn, gently aged seats. Earlier in their relationship, when Eren and she had to do long distance, she would endure the three hour bus rides at least once a month to get to Eren’s for the weekend. The bus is dark, as it is nighttime, and she can briefly make out the silhouettes of various people and vacant seats, illuminated momentarily by the lights on the highway. She can feel the shaking of the bus as she looks out the window again, seeing different cars pass her by. Mikasa looks up at the sky, searching for the moon. She had always loved seeing the moon in the night; it fascinated her as a child that the moon had changed its shape throughout the month and sometimes, when it was at its fullest and brightest, she could see the spiraling details of its craters and the shadows they made. However, the night was cloudy with angry looking storm clouds; she could tell that something was coming in the way that the wind moved, contorting the shapes of trees that she could see in the distance. After a little while, the first raindrop hits, dispersing on the window the moment it collides. Then another, and another, and after what seemed like a split second, Mikasa watched as the rain plummeted and speckled the images of the dark highway against her window. Mikasa could see her face reflecting back, through the wavy lines of swirling grey, like a ghost floating right in front of her. She glanced briefly at it. Even though she knew that the rosy cheeks and soft pink lips where her own, she couldn’t help but feel that this was another being, that the eyes looking back had a mind of its own.

“Who are you…?” she whispered gently aloud, and she dared to look into those eyes again. Instead of being grey, however, those eyes had turned into a stark, shocking blue.

“Who do you think, brat?” Mikasa whirled around to face Levi, and her heart jumped to her throat. The seat beside her was empty only moments ago, and now it was occupied by him, legs crossed, hands behind his head, and leaning back as if he was there all along. He glanced sideways at her, and Mikasa could feel herself shrink towards the window. “Tsk. You’re cold again. Why do you never dress for the weather?” He unfolded a small, grey blanket that seemed to appear out of nowhere, and he placed it around her form; she realized that she was, in fact, cold. “Maybe you just bring the coldness with you,” she retorted, and she saw his eyebrows raise slightly. “Maybe it’s not my fault, but your own.” “Next time, just say thank you.” Levi scoffed, and he lowered his arms to place them in front of him. He stared at nothing in particular at the seat in front of him as Mikasa continued to look at him. “Why are you here, anyway?” she said in a low voice, and she saw Levi smirk. “The same reason you’re here. For no reason at all.” He turned to face her now, and she flinched when those icy blue eyes found hers. “You keep thinking about me.” He said slowly, and Mikasa felt her face start to burn. Words struggled to come out of her lips. “I don’t want to.” She finally replied, but it felt more like a confession than a retaliation. And she hated it. “But you do. I’ve seen the way you look over at me when we’re both in the same room. You pointedly look away whenever Hanji mentions my name. The way that you flinch ever so slightly when I call your name. It’s written all over your face, Mikasa, and I’ve read every word.” Mikasa felt as if her blood drained away from her, leaving her pale and breathless and weak. Levi had leaned in while he spoke, and his gaze never left hers. She could feel her heart quicken its pace, and she felt a jolt of electricity when she momentarily felt the back of his hand touch her lower thigh. “You say that I bring the coldness with me, and that’s why you shiver. But let me tell you, Mikasa, you’re utterly, completely wrong.” Mikasa felt trapped, cornered by window with no escape, feeling the hairs on the nape of her neck rise, and she felt very alert, very aware that Levi’s hand intentionally slipped beneath the blanket to graze against her thigh, with each stroke travelling higher than the last.

“Levi-“ Mikasa’s breath hitched as he moved closer. Their foreheads were touching, and Mikasa could feel the warmth of his breaths, the clean scent of him, combined with the motion of his hands, she felt powerless. “What, what are you… this is a _Greyhound_ , there are _people_ -“ “Let them see.” He cut her off, his lower jaw tensing as he found the hem of her skirt- God, she was wearing a _skirt_ \- and his hand inched higher, and Mikasa trembled in excitement and fear. She could see the way the dim lights of the road danced across his angular features. The look in his eyes and his gritted teeth made her breathless, and Mikasa felt more warmth pooling down to where he was almost touching, so unbelievably close. She quickly looked around to see if any of the passengers noticed them, entwined together in their seats in an almost awkward embrace, his left hand firmly grasping her right shoulder, as his right hand slowly found the lining of her skivvies and started to pull them down- all underneath a thin, grey blanket.

“I’m going to make you _feel_. I’m going to show you how fucking good it would feel, how good it would _fucking_ feel if you were with me.” Levi demanded all her attention as he closed in the small distance they had between their faces, and he yanked her underwear down, wasting no time as he adamantly parted her thighs, and graze his thumb briefly over the folds of her slick, wet folds of her sex before he found the sweetest spot of her, rubbing in deliriously small, sinful concentric circles. His teeth caught the harsh, breathy gasp that came out of her as he bit her lower lip, tugging on it slowly as he continued to pleasure her, sending wave after wave of sweet tension down her spine. Her nerves felt like they were on fire; she closed her eyes and her back arched into her seat as Levi’s touch became firmer and more insistent, making her expire explicit sounds she knew only he could hear. Mikasa opened her eyes to see violent blue, and Mikasa knew she was truly drowning. Levi finally tore his gaze off of hers, and Mikasa felt herself exhale; yet she inhaled sharply again as he angled his lips so they met the hollow of her throat, sucking greedily as he felt her hips gyrate into his touch, begging for release.

“I know what you want.” He whispered fiercely against her ear, and Mikasa had to suppress a groan threatening to escape. The warmth of his breath ticked hotly against her skin while Mikasa felt the friction between his thumb and her clit increasing, and she tightened her grip on her armrest and on Levi’s left arm. “But I want to hear it from you. Say it, Mikasa. Say what you want.” She couldn’t help the moan that left her lips as Levi nipped the soft lobe of her ear, and she felt herself burn, burn in the way he made her feel, the sensuous way he moved his fingers as if he knew… he _knew_ …

“I can’t. Levi, please.” Mikasa pleaded, searching in his eyes for mercy. _I can’t say what you want me to say_. "Please, Levi…” She didn’t have to say anything else because his lips crashed into hers, fervently sucking and biting and _oh_ -

“Say please again.” He hissed, and Mikasa felt a sudden rush of cold air as Levi yanked the blanket back, exposing her parted thighs and her wantonly wet pussy. Mikasa gasped, and Levi promptly pushed himself more closely towards her to secure her thighs and to push his hot tongue in her mouth. His left hand replaced where his right had been touching earlier, frantically circling her clit in the opposite direction, and Mikasa felt herself jerk. “Say it. Say please.”

“Please,” she gasped, unable to fight anymore. Upon hearing her give in to his command, Levi pushed his right index and middle finger abruptly inside her, and they immediately began pushing in and out, matching the speed of his left hand. “Oh.. Levi, please-!” Mikasa moaned as he brutally pushed her higher and higher. The stroking of his fingers felt impossibly, inexplicably good; Levi made a low, rumbling sound as he roughly explored her body. " _Come for me, Mikasa._ " Shuddering, Mikasa felt her body start to unfold and reach her limit, and as she hit her shattering climax, she cried out, as if she was confessing a deeply hidden sin. “Oh, Levi… Levi, Levi-!”

She jolted awake, in the throes of a violent, throbbing orgasm, with one hand holding her exposed breast and one hand on her clit, frantically circling as she rode out her pleasure, a sheen of sweat covering her entire body as she gradually came down from her high. Eyes closed and breathing heavily, Mikasa struggled to swim out of the bliss and confusion of her dream, and in her empty, cold room she whispered out the one word that still desperately lingered on her lips.

“Please.”


	4. Straight for the Knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter, I'll let the words speak for itself.

What an awful day, she thought.

  
Mikasa clumsily searched for her keys in her mess of a purse, feeling around the clutter of receipts, coins, and makeup. When she found them, the familiar jingle of them made her realize how much she wanted to open her door and get her god damn heels off. Hastily, she unlocked her door and stumbled in. Her aching feet found relief when she _finally_ kicked her stilettos off and touched solid ground. Walking with that weird, buoyant feeling in her feet, she threw her clutch onto the couch, and made her way to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water.  
Her apartment had a dark, desolate, empty feeling. Apart from the little furniture she kept in it and the minimalist atmosphere, it was dark and it was a little chilly; she could never control the heating in this place. She could hear sirens in the distance as she gulped down her water, parched with thirst. The cold, refreshing feeling of it rushing down her throat was incredibly satisfying. It even alleviated some of the tension in her muscles, at least temporarily.  
Placing the empty glass back on her table, Mikasa clutched her thin blazer closer and walked towards her sofa. Plopping down, she reached for the lighter on her end table. With one swift motion, she flicked her lighter on, sparks emitting to ignite the tiny, blue and yellow flame, lightly illuminating her hand and the space around it. Mikasa watched the flame quiver dully for a moment, then proceeded to move her hands towards the large candle on her end table, so that the fire and its wick could kiss.

  
It had been such a tiring day.

In the morning, Mikasa had woken up to find in dismay that Eren had forgot to set the alarm clock like she asked him to. She should have already been out the door 30 minutes before. Groaning and suddenly alert, she had ran to the bathroom to hastily shower and brush her teeth. When she burst through the bedroom door, Eren was half-awake, rubbing his eyes.  
"What's going on, Mik-"  
"I'm late for work Eren, I gotta go." she had spoken rapidly as she quickly rummaged for her office clothes. Eren looked dazed for a moment, then hummed in appreciation as Mikasa shrugged out of her towel, revealing a lacy red bra and matching underwear.  
"Mikasa, if you're looking like that, you might as well be a couple more minutes late, maybe hours..." Eren had reached over to place his hands on her waist, pulling her backwards towards him on the bed.  
"Eren, not now! I have a meeting today, it's really important-" Mikasa twisted away impatiently, slapping his hands so they'd loosen their grip. Eren laughed. "I'm kidding, I'll drive you; that way you won't be as late taking the subway."  
On the way to her work, Mikasa had fidgeted nervously. She had been mostly worried about how Levi was going to react- she just assumed she was going to hear harsh, clipped tones or none at all. Silent anger from Levi was one of the things that intimidated her the most, even if she wouldn't admit that in front of him. She had once seen Levi direct that kind of hatred on Hanji, a couple of years back when the bold woman had tried to trick him into a blind date. Even Hanji seemed guilty after receiving deadpan glares from him after.

  
When Eren pulled in front of the building, Miaksa had given him a quick kiss and was about to jump out the car and run towards her office when she had seen them. A small group of aged men in suits were coming out of the lobby, and were shaking hands with a certain dark haired man. Mikasa had stood, frozen.  
"I'm glad we had this talk." A bald, elderly man with wrinkled eyes spoke in a firm voice. They were right in front of her. "This solidifies our… decision." The group of men had turned away from the man and had started walking away towards a row of dark cars lined in the adjacent street, and Mikasa couldn't help but stare at them as they climbed in. Those were the representatives from Garrison Ltd; she was supposed to meet with them at her meeting, and she was much, much too late. Dread started to creep into her as she realized she felt a prickling sensation of someone glaring at her. She slowly turned her head towards the lobby doors, where she was met with Levi's piercing, cold blue eyes. Swallowing nervously, she had begun to walk towards him, her mind full with millions of things she wanted to say. As soon as she reached him, all she got was another dose of Levi's glaring, and two words from him that effectively stopped all the other ones that wanted to spill out through her lips.

"You idiot."

All throughout the day, those two words rang in her thoughts. Levi had not spoken to her for the rest of the time they were at work; his door was firmly closed, and Mikasa had dared not to attempt to open it. Had they lost the deal? Was it Mikasa's fault? Did a year of planning to recruit the Garrison again go down the drain because she didn't set an alarm? She was a professional... wasn't she? Guilt and shame wracked through her and she could not find it in her to focus very well on her tasks. If it was her fault that the Garrison signed another contract with MP Limited this year, Mikasa was fired for sure. Hanji had stressed that this meeting was key in gaining their partnership back.

 _"You idiot."_  
_"You idiot."_  
_"You idiot."_

  
"What was that, Mikasa?" Armin nudged her softly, as if careful not to break her. Mikasa had snapped out of her reverie, shaking her head. "Nothing, Armin. Just remembering something." She replied, and she was thankful he let it go, even though she knew he wanted to ask her further. After work was Krista's surprise birthday party, and even though Mikasa didn't particularly want to go after the day she had, she knew it would mean a lot to Krista and of course Armin, who had spent weeks planning it. They were at an upscale, vibrant jazz bar. Mikasa rarely went out to such places, but she made an effort to line her eyes a little darker and smokey, and she even applied a dark shade of magenta on her lips. Her dress was simple, tight and sophisticated, with lightly shimmering gold fabric, and she had taken the time to put her hair in short, loose, wavy curls. Even when Eren had picked her up, he took a moment too long to stare before he lightly kissed her on the cheek.  
"Guys, I still can't believe you did this," Krista had gushed when she came back to the table, her cheeks still flushed from dancing. "I absolutely love the music here, Mikasa, you should come dance with Eren and me after-"  
"Excuse me, miss? Another drink for you." Their server had tapped Krista lightly on the shoulder, setting a martini down, and Mikasa was grateful of the interruption. Krista always came to bars with the intention of spending money on drinks but never ended up doing so; other people had always bought them for her. She had been brought 7 drinks already, sent to her from different men in the bar since they arrived.  
"Oh, I really wish that guy didn't send so many, he's already sent me two." Krista fretted, looking over at the guy sitting three booths across from them, sitting with his buddies. He had caught her looking and promptly sent her a wink.  
"Not from him. From _her_."  
Krista had turned her attention to where the server was pointing. The waitress was pointing to a dark haired female with gentle freckles and witty, charming eyes. Krista's lips parted ever so slightly.  
"That's Ymir. She's the house singer. She told me she thought you were a good dancer." The waitress giggled, then dropped her voice to a whisper, as if confiding Krista in a secret. "She never sends drinks to anyone." Mikasa watched as Krista let out a soft “oh” as she looked at Ymir. Even when she and Eren had been dancing, Mikasa noticed the way Krista had glanced over when the band was playing, her eyes lingering on the songstress.  
"You should go talk to her." Mikasa pushed the martini glass towards her friend's hand. "Oh, Mikasa I couldn't..." Krista had said, but the way she bit her lip was a telltale sign that Krista felt some sort of desire in this girl. "Go, Krista. It's your night." Armin had given Krista a little nudge forward, and Krista smiled nervously at them before turning to walk shyly towards Ymir. Armin and Mikasa laughed lightly as she left. Krista may have been spoiled with drinks from various people throughout many nights out, but tonight was the only night she ever responded to one. Whilst sharing a knowing look with Armin, Mikasa had not noticed that the waitress was still there.  
"And this one is for you." The waitress set a glass of deep red wine in front of Mikasa, who looked at her in confusion, eyebrows arched in surprise. "I didn't order this."  
"No, but he did."  
Her eyes slowly travelled to where the waitress was pointing, across the bar. Sitting at a table by the window was-

"Levi?" Mikasa had gasped lightly, and as if on cue, the waitress gave her a little smile and left their table. Unbelievably, there he was, drinking what looked to be either scotch or whiskey, looking incredibly suave in all black, with his shirt sleeves rolled up and the top two of his buttons undone. Sitting next to him was Erwin and Hanji, and the latter of the two started waving her over.  
"Who's that?" A familiar voice asked, and Mikasa whirled her head around to face Eren, who had come back with a couple of beers for him and Armin. Her cheeks had flushed when her eyes met Eren’s. "My coworkers." She replied evenly, slightly disbelievingly, as she was still astounded they were there. "I think they want me to come over." A little bit of dread filled her as she recounted the haphazard morning.  
"You should go, then. I've got Armin to keep me company. But don't leave for too long, okay?" Eren made a pouting face, to which Mikasa responded with a smile and a light squeeze on his hand. Although she knew she was going to have to go talk to them, she was afraid of the possibility that Levi had bad news to tell her about the Garrison. He did have a rather solemn expression on his face.  
Swallowing her small bit of anxiety down as she always did when facing Levi, Mikasa had slid down from her chair, lifted the glass of wine off the table, and began to walk over, dismissing all the buzz and glow of the bar around her.

"Mikasa! We almost didn't recognize you, but then Erwin said that he saw Krista and then I saw your cute boyfriend and I put two and two together, and I knew it was you, you look weird outside of work-"  
"What Hanji meant to say was," Erwin cut her rapid stream of words quickly but good-naturedly. "We're pleasantly surprised to see you here, Mikasa." Mikasa gave the head of her company a small, timid nod of thanks. She still wasn't used to the fact that Erwin, the commander of the company, paid a great deal of interest in her even though she was just Levi's assistant.  
"I'm surprised to see all of you here..." She spoke softly, fearing the worst. Levi still wasn't really looking at her and Erwin seemed to look worn out in the dim lights of the bar.  
"We're celebrating." Hanji replied to her simply, and took a sip of her giant, colorful fruity drink. "We just landed a 5 year contract with the Garrison, and things are looking pretty solid for us in the upcoming quarter." Hanji gave her a wide, toothy grin. "Don't look so surprised, Mikasa, you and Levi did most of the presentation, after all!"  
Mikasa was absolutely speechless. She tried to stammer out some words. "But... I thought... I thought the deal went downhill, I didn't hear from you guys all day-"  
"That was my fault." Mikasa turned her head sharply to the direction of Levi, who hadn't spoken to her until that very morning, out in front of the building.

_"You idiot."_

“I thought we’d lost the deal. You weren’t there, and honestly, I was mad. Livid. All that hard work we did, Mikasa, and you chose today to show up so late. I held the meeting the best I could. Turns out I wasn’t bad. They called me at 6 for the deal. I guess I’m not getting rusty like Erwin thinks.”  
Mikasa had just stood there, wide eyed, processing his words. 6? It was 10pm. He knew for 4 hours? Finally, she spoke, a little accusingly.  
“Why didn’t you _call_ me?!”  
Hanji burst into laughter. "Poor Mikasa, having to deal with old Levi." She gave him a pointed look. "I don't think you know women very well, Levi. Mikasa was probably fretting over this all day." A sigh that Mikasa had seemed to hold all day finally let out of her lungs, and it felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders. They hadn’t lost the deal. Everything was alright. She leaned into the table and hung her head slightly. Even though she felt loads better, lingering feelings of annoyance was still there. “I need fresh air.”  
“I’ll come with you.” His quiet response surprised her; she lifted her head and her gaze and watched in slight fascination as he downed his drink, then voluntarily got up from his seat. “O…kay?” Mikasa hadn’t really expected anyone to reply, and her spine felt strange as she straightened up, picked up her wine, and then started to walk beside Levi as they made their way through the busy place towards the patio.  
The patio was almost full; laughter and chatter were everywhere, accompanied by the soft clinks of glasses being set down by the waiters and waitresses, the soft, illuminating glow of the lanterns. While making their way around the stream of people, Levi wordlessly placed his hand at the small of her back, guiding her. Mikasa jumped slightly at the sudden contact, but didn’t say anything as she and Levi arrived at a small corner, a little away from the buzz. Silence and awkwardness passed between them for a while as they looked over at the city lights, blinking and moving every so often. There was a slight chill, but the air was delightful. Mikasa could smell the cheerfulness of the night, and hints of cigarette smoke. It smelled like the city, and Mikasa inhaled deeply.

  
“You should have called.”  
She didn’t know what prompted her to break the silence. Usually her and Levi were good with moments of silence, leaving them in their own thoughts. At least at the office.  
“I know. I realize that now.” He had flickered his gaze from the city to her, and he noticed her idly twisting the glass of wine in her hand. “You know, I didn’t get you that just so you could play with it.”  
“Did you get it so you could get me drunk, then?” Mikasa bit back, but she used her tone that she used with Levi whenever they were sarcastic with each other. Almost playful. It wasn’t her best response, but she was pleased when the tiniest smirk danced on his lips.  
“Perhaps.” Levi said, and even though Mikasa knew he was joking, she couldn’t help but feel slightly flushed at what that could have meant. “But I’ve seen you drunk, and I don’t think I want that to happen again.” He was referring to the Christmas party two years ago. Oh god, he remembered. How did he always manage to make her feel like a small child? Embarrassed, she didn’t know what else to say; so she returned to silence as she sipped on her wine. The bittersweet taste hit her tongue in a way that fit the situation, it seemed. Levi smirked at her lack of response, and watched her take her last sip. They wordlessly turned back to the twinkling lights again. More time passed, and Mikasa was about to let Levi know that she should probably turn back and head to her friends when Levi spoke, his words nonchalant, but stopping her for the 2nd time that day.

“By the way… you look nice today.”

Back in her apartment, sitting in the dark, Mikasa felt a single tear rolling off her cheek, making a cold trail down to the base of her throat. Another, and another. The night had ended with a few more glasses of wine, and she could still feel the alcohol clouding her thoughts. After their time on the patio, Levi excused himself to go home, as well as Erwin and a reluctant Hanji. Seeing them leave left a sinking feeling in her stomach. The rest of the night didn’t feel so good either. Eren and Armin had found her and brought her to their table to chat and drink more, and they even got to have a fun conversation with Ymir, whom Krista brought back from a pretty steamy make out session at the back. Mikasa had drank more than she usually did, trying to muddle her pestering thoughts that wanted to ruin the purpose of her coming there, to enjoy the lively night out with her friends.  
But it was ruined. Ruined from the moment Levi had said those words, out on the deck, overlooking the city. Ruined when she felt warmth and electricity spreading through her veins. Levi had never complimented her on her beauty before. And even though it was such a material thing, such a small thing- Armin always said things like that to her all the time- she knew it ruined her the moment those words left his lips because in that instant she felt hope. Hope had seeped slowly into her. It wouldn’t stop, and she knew it.

She has Eren. Energetic, loving Eren who thought the world of her. Sweet Eren, who always held her when they laid in bed at night and showered her with kisses to help her lull into her dreams. Mikasa knew that she had it so _good_ with him; they got along together better than anyone else, and they loved fiercely, protecting and understanding each other. Eren was so good to her, and Levi was bad, he was _dangerous_ and bad...So why was she thinking of Levi?  
She had been for quite some time now, and it scared her. At first, she thought it was strictly sexual. Even though Eren and she had sex often, Mikasa couldn’t help but wish she was more satisfied after. Maybe it was her need to feel physical satisfaction. She couldn’t deny that she was physically attracted to Levi; his angular features, blue eyes, and lean, well-built body often catches other eyes in her office, so naturally it could happen to her. And it did. And she had consoled herself that even though Levi was admittedly tempting, it didn’t compare to what she felt for Eren.  
But tonight was different. Mikasa had put off coming to this conclusion day after day, when she caught herself thinking of her and Levi, trying to assess her thoughts about him. She had been avoiding the confrontation with herself, but forebodingly, that small compliment of his set off hope, and along with that came immediate guilt and sadness. Mikasa had come to see the gentleness in Levi; thoughts of being together with him in coy, sensual situations intermingled now with personal, intimate ones. Underneath his rough exterior and sharp tongue, there was something else, and Mikasa could slowly feel it. Every interaction with him was a rush of warmth and excitement- but every little bit of that was extinguished when she felt guilt stab her every time she looked into Eren’s eyes.  
Eren never looked at anyone else like the way he looked at her, she knew. And the knowledge of that ate away at her insides, giving her painful anxiety... and the wine didn’t help.  
With thrumming numbness, she let the tears drop. Images of Levi flickered tauntingly, dangling her feelings and desire right in front of her, just out of her reach, while she yearned to reach out and take it. But she was tied, held securely by the love and passion Eren gave her, and she knew she shouldn’t feel strangled, but somehow, she did. And she didn’t know why.

  
In the dark, Mikasa fought with her emotions, and she felt as empty as the space around her. Feeling the salt of her tears on the corners of her lips, she gently whispered two words that lingered in the air.  
“You idiot.”


	5. Glacier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter for a long wait.  
> This one involves more dialogue whereas the previous chapters were more descriptive of Mikasa's emotions.

“You need to go home.”

Stubborn as ever, with his steely gaze locked on his work, Levi ignored what he called “her obnoxious pestering” and refused to answer back. Tapping her foot, Mikasa felt like she was dealing with a child; and Mikasa never really had patience for children.

“You’re stubborn and you look ridiculous.” She almost scolded. He did, in fact, look ridiculous. Out of the countless hours she spent with Levi at work over the years, she had never seen him so... frazzled. Yes, he was usually a little paler than most, but that was just his complexion. Physically, she always considered Levi to be a little _too_  healthy; he always kept to his intense workout routine at the gym (which he woke up at 4 in the morning for) and he never touched sweets or anything deep-fried, even if Hanji insisted. She always had a haunting suspicion that he would live forever. Levi was healthy; he never got sick.

Until today.

It was almost comical, the way he looked when she stepped into his office. Her usually nonchalant expression turned into utter surprise when she turned to look at him; she had halted immediately. Cutting and expressionless, Levi normally was the utmost intimidating person Mikasa had ever met; it was almost military how he spoke and how he organized his life. All thoughts of that flew away when she discovered Levi sitting hunched in his desk chair, a thick, woollen blanket around his drooped shoulders, with a tinge of red across his usually pale cheekbones. Piles of Kleenexes were strewn haphazardly around his desk, which was the greater surprise; Levi never left a mess untouched. Upon her arrival, Levi sniffled, then turned to glare sharply at her. Mikasa gawked. He looked miserable.

“You’re sick,” she managed to say after a few seconds. It came out somewhat like a dull statement, but she meant to have it come out like a question, even an accusation, in undertones. She was aware that she was blinking a lot, as if her eyes did not believe what they were seeing. “It’s not impossible. I’m still fucking human.” Levi snapped, but his tone had lost some of its power. It sounded as if his voice was about to crack and start to die out. Meeting her gaze, Levi just looked really, really tired. “Maybe... you should go home?” Mikasa had slowly suggested, looking pointedly at him as she arched an eyebrow. Levi glowered. And that’s when their bickering started.

“I’m not going home.” Levi said in the present, for the hundredth time. Mikasa could tell he was stifling a cough through the word “home”. “Who’s going to do my work, you?” He tried to glare at her but he couldn’t seem to meet her eyes anymore. He looked exasperated, and Mikasa could tell he had been staring at the same few pages of the same report for a while. "Who knows, maybe I'll do a better job than you." Mikasa gestured towards his tissue piles. "You're already starting to lose it. First it's messy Kleenexes, who knows what can be next? A dirty cravat to work? Or worse-" Mikasa pretended to look horrified. "- you could actually start being _nice_  to your assistants." "How about I start wiping that damn smirk off your face, br-" Levi was cut off by a fairly violent coughing fit, which he tried to subdue by covering his mouth with his cravat, pushing back on his chair and caving his ribcage inwards, as if he was trying to hold back the jerking motions his body made as he exhaled, painfully.

Mikasa actually felt a pang of sympathy. “Quit being such a baby and stop arguing with me.” Mikasa softened her tone, and while Levi started to clear his throat, she walked over to where his coat and briefcase was. “Come on, boss. I’m driving you home. Erwin said I could use the company car.” She felt the pause, and then his strained sigh while she picked up his things. “You ratted me out to Erwin?” she could almost hear the annoyance and accusation in his tired voice, and even though she knew she had the upper hand, she couldn't help but feel a little sheepish. "He said he'd order a nice soup to be delivered to your apartment?" She offered, smiling, hoping it would help. “Great." He spat. "Just fucking great.” She guessed it didn't help. “He cares about you, and he just wants you to get some rest.” She retorted back, although she still did feel a _little_  guilty for texting his closest friend (and unfortunately for him, boss) right away. Mikasa rewarded Levi with a small smile when he got up, his blanket hanging limply and his mood sour. He replied back with a scowl.

The drive to Levi’s apartment was quiet, only interrupted by the sounds of the city and the occasional coughs and sniffles Levi failed to cover up. When they arrived in front of his sleek, modern apartment, Mikasa wordlessly got out of the car, much to Levi’s dismay.

“Erwin told you to make sure I went to bed, didn’t he?” he accused, almost in a whisper. His voice sounded tired, but it was all husky and rugged. Mikasa nodded, slightly amused at the fact that he didn’t even try to fight with her. As they walked through the chilly air towards the entrance, she thought she had heard a tiny “Damn motherfucker” and something about a "mother hen" under his breath.

The elevator ride felt long and surprisingly full of tension; Mikasa realized she was about to enter his home. Outside of work, they didn’t talk much; their relationship was strictly professional and although Mikasa knew she was closer to him than a lot of people he knew, they hardly saw each other outside the office. And never in the years that she worked for him had she seen where he lived. It was personal, and Mikasa knew it. A part of her felt very invasive and even intrusive, but another, bigger part of her was just plain _curious_.

The elevator gave a cheerful ring that cut her thoughts short, and Mikasa felt small butterflies as she stepped out with Levi. As they walked down a well-lit, wide hallway, Mikasa felt a pricking sensation of being watched, and she chose to ignore it until they reached his door. She finally turned her head to meet Levi’s piercing gaze. His expression was unamused. “You look like you’re about to open a goddamn birthday present, Ackerman.” 

“Sorry.” She bit her lips to hide a smile. "I just want to know what's inside." Levi rolled his eyes. As he opened his dark, polished door, he muttered, "Nosy brat," which Mikasa pretended not to hear. 

A click and a swing of the heavy door later, Mikasa cautiously stepped into Levi's apartment. Her first thought was that everything was so _clean_ ; the dark hardwood floors were gleaming as light bounced off their surface. The open concept apartment had dark grey walls that were decorated with simplistic, black and white artwork with floodlights creating beams of light, making her feel as if she was in a small museum or an art gallery rather than a home. In the living room, a small, rectangular dove-grey loveseat with white cushions sat on a dark grey, circular rug, with an asymmetric, minimalist glass coffee table in front of it. On top sat a tiny white pot with a round, flowering cactus growing out of it, which was the only splash of colour in the entire room. What grabbed her attention the most, however, was the elegant grand piano in the far corner, with a small shelf of sheet music hovering above it on the wall. 

Without any thought, Mikasa let her feet gravitate towards the instrument, letting a careless, slender finger slide gently across the keys when she reached it. She looked up at Levi, who was clearly unamused by her sightseeing and roaming and was just waiting silently for her to stop. 

"I didn't know you had such class." She plopped herself down on the piano bench, taking in the view. Levi's apartment felt sophisticated, and Mikasa was impressed; the place also had a pretty nice view of the city and the highway. 

"Of course I have class, brat." Levi sighed, shrugging off the blanket he'd had around him all day. He walked towards his modern kitchen, and got two glasses out. "Can I get you some water?" he asked in a wearily begrudging tone. Nodding and smiling inwardly about her grumpy boss displaying good manners, Mikasa got up from the piano bench and slid her feet over towards him, setting herself down on a bar stool on the long island. "You're practically skipping." Levi's tone felt as if he was dripping with disdain, but Mikasa saw the corner of his lips twitch into a small smirk as he handed her a glass. Welcoming the cool liquid pouring down her throat, Mikasa drank half her cup before wetting her lips. She was still taking in the details of his house, noting how luxurious it seemed compared to her small, dim apartment. She sighted a set of stairs that led to a loft she didn't notice before. Sneaking a peak at Levi, who was busy finding a bottle of cough medicine, Mikasa got up from her chair and set her glass down. 

"Mind if I explore?" The temptation to take in everything gleamed in her eyes, and she knew Levi saw it. And he was annoyed by it. "Is there any point in me saying no?" He sighed. "Nope." Mikasa taunted, letting her lips pop on the 'p'. Levi was just unscrewing the bottle of whatever he found, and he waved her away before downing whatever was left in one go. Slightly concerned about his unorthodox methods of medicine dosage but unwilling to question him about it, Mikasa let her feet travel to where her eyes wanted to go. Inside the kitchen, Levi had a tall, glass cupboard that was entirely filled by bottles of liquor and an impressive collection of wine. Mikasa read label after label, noting that Levi had a fondness for red wine and Hennessy; even his poison of choice was classy. 

Not wasting another minute, Mikasa slowly tiptoed over to the staircase, which she gently ascended. She stopped at the very top stair, not daring to go further. The loft space she found was clearly Levi's bedroom; a low, wide bed with pristine white sheets dominated the centre of the space while two large shelves stacked with books were on either side of it. Mikasa knew if she bounced a quarter on that bed, it would bounce back to her; that was how flawless it was made this morning, despite the fact she knew Levi must have felt like crap when he woke up. She spotted a small, walk-in closet with perfectly pressed clothing hanging in an orderly fashion. Although it was the most uncharacteristic bedroom she'd ever seen, Mikasa knew this was the most intimate part of the house. She'd seen Levi in various other settings outside their workplace, but this was different. This was where he dressed. This is where Levi slept. And despite having been mischievous in her curiosity so far, here Mikasa couldn't make herself go further. It was as if there was a thin, invisible, permeable barrier was there, just in front of her, and she didn’t know if she could ever turn back if she crossed it. Just as she made the decision to head back and check on Levi, a chilling, cold voice rose the hairs on the nape of her slender, exposed neck.

"I see you've found my room." Levi's voice was becoming strained, as if it hurt to talk. Whirling around, Mikasa, with widened eyes, started stammering as embarrassment stained her cheeks red. "I-I'm so s-sorry-" "Don't be." He cut her off, and she expected him to continue with something along the lines of "get the hell out", but instead, he sighed. "You were _exploring_ , where else would you go?"

Turns out her boss was just full of surprises today.

Sheepish but pleasantly taken aback, Mikasa made herself slowly make her way to a nearby soft chair with a blanket, while Levi set down his glass of water and headed towards his closet. A while later, Levi came out in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black long sleeved shirt that fit him snugly around his chest and torso. He sat down on his bed, leaning against the frame, with his hands behind his head, fingers entwined. They made eye contact for a bit, either of them slightly unsure what to do next. Usually, they were good with silence; but this wasn't his office she was sitting in.

"You have a really nice place." Mikasa managed to say, and she rolled with it. "Seriously. How do you afford all this? Do we work at the same job?"  Levi scoffed, throwing her a look but seeming a little worn out. "I've been with Erwin and Hanji for a long time. I've made some money along the way, and some of it I spend on good interior decorating. It's not like I have a family of my own to dote on with it." He said that last part with a tinge of bitterness, and Mikasa couldn't help but notice. "You don't have any family?" She asked softly. "There aren't exactly any pictures of loved ones lying around, are there?" Levi gestured nonchalantly around him. "Plus, you may have noticed the only person other than myself to take care of me when I’m sick is... My assistant. Does that tell you anything about me, Mikasa?" She felt her heart flutter a tiny bit, like it does every time, when she hears him say her actual name.

"Um.. I don't know, it tells me… that you don't date?" She joked, trying to awkwardly avert the tension of the situation. And for the first time since she met him, Levi laughed aloud. Stunned, Mikasa’s jaw dropped slightly. Although it was strained, and it was more like a bark rather than a peal of laughter, the unfamiliar, odd sound caught Mikasa off guard. Levi was capable of laughing? "You're right," Levi smirked lightly after clearing his sore throat, unaffected by his laughter in stark contrast to her. "I don't date. And no family. All I do is work." He paused as he sipped his water, the last remnants of a smile still dancing on his face. "Sometimes I think you work too hard." She murmured softly, but she knew he had heard. "You're practically married to the job." He smirked at that. "I guess Erwin _does_  have a sort of feminine look to him," Levi joked (joked!), cocking his head to the side. "and he does boss me around quite a bit. I guess I had a wife all along." A smile slowly dawned on her face, and Mikasa couldn't help but enjoy this. His deadpan humor suited him. It was actually kind of nice.

"Speaking of Erwin," Levi's piercing blue eyes peeked over at her, and held her there. "Were you ever going to tell me about his promotion offer to you?" Startled and now _really_ caught off guard, Mikasa's eyes grew wide. "You... _know_?" Levi cocked an eyebrow. "Hanji never keeps secrets." he murmured, and continued to simply look at her while Mikasa, stunned, thought back to Friday morning...

_“You wanted to see me?” Mikasa poked her head through the door, her grey eyes scanning the well-decorated room before landing on the man with the golden blonde hair, making himself a cup of tea. Erwin was dressed handsomely as usual; he almost looked picturesque as he leaned over his counter, gently pouring a little milk from the steel pitcher to make swirly, creamy vectors dance against the glass full of dark amber liquid, humming lightly as he did so. He looked up from his position and gave her a small, welcoming smile._

_“Yes, Mikasa. Have a seat.” Straightening her skirt, Mikasa made her way inside Erwin’s small but elegant office. Although Erwin was very professional about how he kept his space, the room felt intimate, almost homely and inviting. Seating herself on the soft, brown leather armchair, Mikasa gratefully accepted a steaming cup from Erwin, and took tiny, scalding sips as he sat down across from her, crossing his legs and taking a deep drink from his own cup. It was moments like these that made him alluring. Erwin was attractive, beyond intelligent, and frankly, dreamy; he was a successful man who exuded masculinity, yet at the same time there was a gentleness about him that was comforting, yet strangely intimidating, which was exciting. Snapping herself out of her train of thoughts, Mikasa willed herself to actually make eye contact with Erwin when he began speaking, out of politeness._

_“I called you in here because of your promotion,” Erwin started abruptly without any warning, but stopped himself when Mikasa almost choked on her tea and doubled forward with a coughing fit. Although he promptly brought her a napkin, there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Don’t be so surprised, Mikasa. You’ve been with this corporation for a long time, and I think that your advancement to secretary is long overdue.”_

_“Secretary? B-but sir…” Mikasa painfully cleared her throat, trying to make words come out, trying to make sense of the million thoughts that were bubbling inside. “I mean, I’m flattered, but I’m just an assistant, and I don’t know if I qualify-”_

_“Mikasa, you were more than qualified for the job of assistant when you were first hired. You had potential for moving up even back then, and a week ago I had half a mind to promote you to the same position as Levi-” Mikasa froze and blanched, to further Erwin’s amusement. “but I immediately thought of your name when the secretarial position opened, and judging by your reaction to the directorial position, it seems I’ve made the right choice.” Erwin chuckled, taking another sip from his cup. “I know you’d do well in your advancement and I hope this is something you would consider.” He looked up, smiling gently at her as he let his words sink in._

_“I…” Mikasa managed, speechless. How could Erwin be so calm? And so light-hearted about the situation? In the midst of her shock though, she could feel a tiny bit of annoyance at the amusement Erwin clearly enjoyed at the effect of his words upon her. Her head was starting to hurt and she had to remember to speak. “Sir, I… this is a lot to take in,” her words were struggling to come out. “I wasn’t expecting this at all... and I’m very grateful for this offer- but I think… I think I would need some time, if that would be okay.” Erwin nodded knowingly. “You’ll be able to decide what you want for yourself as thoroughly as you would like. I won’t rush you.”_

_“Th-thank you, sir.”_

The air in the room felt warmer and thicker, practically molasses. Blushing profusely, Mikasa couldn’t help but avert her eyes to avoid his curious gaze. “I still haven’t made up my mind,” she managed to say. “It would be completely different.” “What’s not to want? You’d have further relations with the higher ups, most likely Hanji and even Erwin. Manage their affairs. Better pay. More benefits. Easier hours.” Levi’s interest was almost scrutinizing. Mikasa bit her lip as the words formed in her head, and she could taste the numbing flavor of them as she repressed them from being spoken.

_But I wouldn’t be with you._

No. She could never.

“I… I like where I am.” she decided to say. Her fingers couldn’t stop fidgeting, and Mikasa felt the scorching heat of her reddening cheeks.

“Well, I think it’s time you stop being my assistant.” Levi stated calmly.

The words sank in, and after a couple of seconds of disbelief, Mikasa snapped her head up, her wide eyes full of hurt. “What does _that_  mean?” she accused, her voice raised. Her throat tightened, as if it was trying to stop the sudden feeling of betrayal in the air she felt from rushing into her lungs. She was helping him get over his cold, at one point she thought they were bonding, and this is what she gets?

“Don’t get your panties in a knot, brat.” Levi started, and Mikasa _really_ had an urge to bite back with “I’m not wearing any, you fucking asshole” even though she actually did have a pair on. “Think about it. You’d be a fool to reject the offer, so I’m giving you no choice in the matter. Starting next week, pack up your shit in your cubicle.” Hurt embedded itself like an arrow in her chest. Mikasa knew he was telling her this was the better option, but she couldn’t help but feel bitter when having to hear _him_ say it, especially when she was contemplating taking the offer in the first place because of him.

“Mikasa, take the goddamn offer from Erwin… or take mine.”

“What…?” Utterly confused, she held his gaze with intrigue, surprise, and lingering hurt. He was just pushing and pulling and toying with her heart today.

“Hanji told me Erwin was thinking of making you Director, probably because that old coot thinks I’m working too damn hard…” Levi mumbled a little of that last bit, but continued, clearing his throat. “And you practically do half the work I do, more than what an assistant should do, and as much as a pain you are to me, you’d be useful as a partner.”

Mikasa blinked rapidly to make sure she heard that right. “So… you’re offering me a partnership.” she spoke slowly. “If you didn’t get that from what I just said I might have to retract it.” Levi smirked, earning him a glare from Mikasa. She mulled in her chair. “Just so we’re clear; we’d be working together… as equals. Partners. Co-directors. Ackerman and Ackerman. You wouldn’t call me brat-” “Nothing in my offer said that I wouldn’t call you brat,” Levi cut in and raised an eyebrow. “When you stop being a brat is when I stop calling you one.” Mikasa raised an eyebrow back. “Okay, so we’ll be exactly the same as before, but it’d be like I was getting a raise for babysitting you for so long?” “ _Do you want my goddamn offer or not?_ ” Levi snapped, coughing in the process, and Mikasa couldn’t help but smile. He looked so worn out.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

She got up from her chair and went over to his bed, where he was leaning on his headboard. “We need to shake on it or it’s not official.” she outstretched her slender hand, and Levi looked at it with disgust. “Are you insane? We’d transfer so many germs.” his eyes narrowed at the thought. “You mean _you_ ’d transfer so many germs. Plus I’ve breathed the same air as you all day, I probably already caught your nasty cold that you’re too wimpy to handle on your own.” Mikasa left her hand outstretched, and Levi shook it begrudgingly. “I regret this already.” He muttered, and that’s when the doorbell rang.

“It’s probably the soup Erwin had sent! I got it, you stay put.” Mikasa perked up, and made sure he stayed in bed before he could protest, and started making her way downstairs. She couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. Co-directors, with Levi. She never expected him to make an offer like that- it meant he liked working with her too...

Grabbing her wallet, Mikasa opened Levi’s door and took the soup and care package from the delivery girl, tipping her generously. In the kitchen she found a bowl to re-heat the soup in, and while it was in the microwave, she found a box of Kleenex in the basket. Carrying the two and being careful not to spill any of the aromatic, hot soup, Mikasa made her way up to the loft to find Levi… passed out.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Levi.” she sighed quietly, and set the soup and tissue box on his bedside table. She couldn’t help but notice how peaceful he looked when he slept. His face wasn’t twisted into a scowl, and his pale eyelids, when closed, covered those charismatic blue eyes of his. He looked weary and she could hear his throat clearing itself while he slept. She was seeing a new side to him she’d never seen; he looked almost vulnerable.

“I was seriously only gone for a second.” she mumbled to herself. She absentmindedly brushed some of his hair away from his face, and made her hand linger there to check his temperature. Mikasa was suddenly made aware by her own thoughts that this gesture seemed almost loving; and so she quickly jerked her hand away. What was she doing? He was still her coworker... this was completely inappropriate.

Embarrassed by what she just did, and thankful that she didn’t wake him, Mikasa hurriedly took the blanket from the chair she was sitting on, gently draped it over him, then started to walk away so she could leave his house. Oh god, she was alone in his house while he’s sleeping- she had to get out. As she started to descend the first few steps of the staircase, Mikasa halted for a second as she thought she faintly heard Levi while he was stirring in his sleep.

“Stay.”


End file.
